Your Inner Knowing™ eLetter

October 2004

Switching Perspectives

I was so frustrated that I felt like whining. I just wanted to scream since I had done everything suggested and yet it didn’t turn out as I wanted it to. Have you ever had that experience? Here’s what happened…

The week had been challenging, it was my birthday weekend and I just wanted to get home. However, after completing an afternoon ‘Breakthrough Your Challenges’ session I missed the last flight and had to spend another night. I called the airlines and found out that they had early morning flights and was assured I would have no problem getting on. In my eagerness I decided to go standby on the 5:30a flight. But upon getting to the Dallas Airport the flight was full…I was back on my original flight and so began my 6 hour delay. I was tired, cranky and not happy.

This is when I called my mother. She is safe to vent with…yet even before I had a chance to purge my frustrations she shifted my perspective. Mom had been up all night waiting for the report on my Aunt’s status as she came out of surgery for her brain cancer. Then she simply asked, ‘Don’t you have your computer with you so that you can get some work done?’ Call it a powerful reality check. Real powerful. Who was I to bemoan sitting in the comfort of the DFW airport with time for computer projects while my Aunt was fighting for her life? Without our health, what do we really have?

These days it’s all too easy to get into that mental swirl of frustration with irritations, minor setbacks and undesired situations. We need people in our lives who help us switch perspectives. When you feel like whining…who do you call? Who’s your ‘whine stopper’? If you need them today, pick up the phone right now!

The Power to Breakthrough Your Challenges

Have you ever broken a board with your bare hand? No? Most people believe they can’t do it because a wooden board appears harder and stronger than your hand. It looks intimidating. Many are afraid that they might get hurt, they don’t believe that the feat is possible, and they have a hard time focusing on achieving that feat.

Now consider that the obstacles in your life have a similarity to that board. The board is a tangible analogy for whatever might be holding you back. Just like it seems impossible to break the board, it often seems impossible to overcome other challenges. We often feel that same level of apprehension when trying to effect change, when we feel stuck or at an impasse. However, the power to breakthrough any obstacle is within you at all times. It will be there when you are ready to call on it. It takes a keen focus on what you want to achieve vs. what is standing in your way.

Now imagine you are facing that wooden board, you take a deep breath, you raise your hand in preparation of striking, you can feel all of your energy, concentration and focus, you have nothing in your mind other than going beyond that board…going right through it like butter! And when you succeed…you feel the exuberance of success, the adrenaline rushing through your body, the thrill of victory! You did it! And then, that quiet calm comes over you. You sense the meaning of what you achieved by doing something that only minutes ago you thought impossible. You just gained proof. Proof that you can also break through whatever challenges seem insurmountable in your life.

In a board breaking exercise the moment your hand connects with the wood is your touch point, your moment of truth. If you are ready, willing and focused on going through that wood, then you will successfully break through! If however, you simply meet the wood or deliver a half-hearted attempt you will not break through. You in effect have chosen to stop yourself at the moment when you are so close to reaching beyond what has previously seemed impossible. When you are committed and more focused on what you want to achieve than what’s in your way…you will easily break through.

In my most recent surveys, findings indicated that the fear of failure is one of the most notable obstacles that people feel limit their success. This fear of failure shows up in many forms. It included the lack of confidence in oneself, holding back rather than speaking up, feeling insecure, and dealing with too much change. Certainly our economic fluctuations are cause for challenges, many times our work and our families help us to see personal challenges, and with any new beginnings you may be anticipating challenges. Each of these concerns is like a board, an obstacle in the way of becoming who you want to become, performing how you want to perform and achieving what is desired.

Do you have any mental obstacles and challenges you are facing in your life right now? The physical process of breaking through that board with your bare hand gives you the confidence and proof that nothing is impossible! How exciting to know that you have the personal power within you to accomplish anything you focus your mind on. You are very powerful indeed!

Warning: Do not attempt a board breaking exercise on your own. There is more to this process than simply a piece of wood. To achieve the outcomes you want for yourself and your team book a Breakthrough Your Challenges program with Terri. It’s one of the most powerful experiences you will have.

The Power of Collaborative Teamwork

We dug ourselves out of the 100-year blizzard that struck the Denver area! It took the collaborative efforts and commitment of the neighbors working together to make it happen. The experiences of one particular day reminded me of what we are all going through in these changing times. Specifically, challenging situations can be very rewarding when individuals on the team willingly do whatever it takes to succeed. Just as it takes a team to grow a business, maximize return on an asset or deliver superior customer satisfaction…it takes teamwork to dig out of a blizzard!

Overall here is what occurred when an unplanned challenge arose:

1. Diverse individuals adjusted their priorities and willingly came together with a mutual goal
2. Each person collaborated with their unique talents & resources
3. Results were quick due to teamwork
4. All had fun in the process…and we celebrated
   

Here’s an overview of our reality for those blizzard days. On day one we quickly realized it was not business as usual. We dropped our plans and worked individually on clearing our driveways of the 2 feet of wet heavy snow. That night was known to be the heaviest fall with robust winds leaving heaping drifts. Sure enough the morning of day two had the entire region paralyzed with a blanket of 3-5 feet. That’s when the collaboration began…

Two neighbors had snow blowers that were in continual use throughout the day. Fortunately one man had the foresight to get gallons of gas the previous night. Another neighbor had access to a heavy equipment bucket loader, but no way to get there. So another helped him get the huge shovel machine to our street. And finally another neighbor spent three hours plowing and plowing…giving the children rides in the process. The kids baked chocolate chip cookies to deliver up and down the street. That evening we had a digging party to celebrate our accomplishments. We were no longer stranded! All in all, it was a great day. Here’s the bottom line: if everyone had only focused on their own space it would have been four days before the city plowed us out…and we would have missed the opportunity for neighborhood camaraderie.

Change happens so quickly in each of our lives. Whether in times of chaos or constant change, collaborative teamwork really ‘makes it happen’. While the neighbors were an informal team with a single focus, our work teams are most effective when similar qualities are in place. Flexibility, a willingness to pitch in and the desire to work together because we want to are so important. Doing whatever it takes to get the job done is the motto of this decade. So much more is achieved when we willingly join together.

As you go throughout your day today take the time to notice and appreciate the part you play with your teams. Notice how much more gets done when the team works collaboratively together. And finally, seize the opportunity to celebrate your efforts and accomplishments…ever day!

The Power of ‘Feedback’ Processing

Requested or not, sometimes our first response to feedback is emotional. And this can include both negative and positive feedback. If we take it personally, we can feel criticized and attacked, get defensive, or start doubting and questioning ourselves. All of which can lead to the web of what I call ‘the mental swirl’.

There is another way to handle feedback. By using a logical feedback process it’s much easier to get through an emotional reaction and move on. Sometimes remaining neutral is challenging. This is where the benefit of a logical, non-personal process serves us.

My associate, call her Chris, recently had a challenging feedback experience when an associate began, ‘You’re not going to like this but I have to be honest.’ Chris is generally receptive to feedback. However, she was tired, took the seven specific areas of concern personally and the mental swirl of doubt set in. To help herself get through the emotional reaction, she asked herself some more objective processing questions. They helped her discern between factual information and her emotional interpretation.

These included:

1. What else might be going on with the other person that precipitated these comments?
2. Is the person challenged by my way of thinking or doing business?
3. What can I learn from the comments?
4. How can I use the information to better myself or the issue?
5. What actions will I take as a result of the information?

Logic prevailed and she was back to focusing on the issues and not her emotional response!

Having a logical method to process feedback is valuable. Really! Next time you get some challenging feedback (and we all do from time to time) ask yourself these objective questions. You’ll also benefit from this proactive, non-personal approach.

My Inner Prize!

Your inner prize…it’s like a diamond. There are many facets and components to this prize. On the innermost level it’s our inner confidence, inner knowing and inner calm. It’s the intangible inner qualities that enable us to see opportunities, confidently make choices and produce tangible results with ease. Our inner strength is always within us, yet sometimes it’s hidden from our seeing. It’s released by changing our perspective through gaining clarity, self-awareness and understanding. Not always an easy task, yet well worth the process.

I have a friend, call her Angela, who had what appeared to be a highly desirable life. She was president of a successful company, was and still is respected in her industry, has a loving husband and terrific children. Her life was moving along beautifully…and yet she wasn’t happy and she didn’t feel fulfilled. It was her diagnosis of cancer that finally propelled her to reflect on what was important in her life. After much introspection, bringing her priorities into focus and inner confidence building that she decided it was time for a major change. She saw her situations with a different perspective and confidently quit her position. She chose to start her own business where her personal knowledge and business expertise is producing even greater results. She is now healthy, has inner satisfaction and business is rolling in!

Too often it takes a major trauma for us to realize that we are not fulfilled and not living to our full potential. Whatever the catalyst, here’s the five step process Angela used to tap into her inner strength:

1. Awareness: the cancer scare was her propelling ‘wake up call’ to evaluate what was working and what wasn’t in her life
2. Focus: she took time to get clear on what’s important to her and what she values most
3. Choices: she evaluated her options and made high-impact, result focused decisions
4. Planning: she created a practical plan with specific goals and actions steps
5. Results: in taking confident action she took charge of creating her desired life.

There’s ‘proof’ that we are functioning with our inner prize. This includes: remaining calm in the heat of change, seeing different possibilities rather than only one ‘right’ way, making tough decisions with ease because we trust ourselves, feeling great about what we achieve and knowing we did our best. When life feels difficult and challenging, it’s time to reflect and develop new strategies.

Think about your personal and professional life right now. Are you tapping into your inner strengths? If not, what step can you take today to develop greater confidence in seeing the opportunities around you and being the best that you can be? Whatever it is…start now.

Motivation is an inside job

I have been pondering the topic of motivation lately as friends and associates have been asking ‘what motivates you to cycle in the Triple-Bypass road race’? This question is apropos since the Triple is a one day, 120 mile bike ride that includes three mountain passes ranging from 10,560 to 11,990 feet elevation with a cumulative 2 mile vertical gain. Last year, after owning a road bike for all of three months, the ride took my partner and me 13 hours and 50 minutes. At that time these words came out of my mouth, ‘I will never do this again, and as a matter of fact I cannot comprehend why anyone would ever put their body through this physical exhaustion!” So why am I doing it again this year? What’s the motivation?

Researching motivation, I turned to Webster’s Dictionary. Here’s what it had this to say: motivation is a persons’ motive, an impulse within, a cause that a person feels strongly about that compels some action. It confirmed my premise about motivation…it’s an inside job! No one can motivate me, but me.

So I reflected on what compels me to cycle in the first place? The answer is simple. It serves me. I believe that most of us are motivated to do what helps us feel good or feel better. I determined my motivators for cycling include: stress reduction, mental calmness, idea generation, energy enhancement, back pain mitigation and social camaraderie. All terrific benefits! And interestingly, I am more motivated when I know what I am getting from an activity.

Back to question of ‘Why am I riding the Triple…again’? There’s a second level of motivation involved here. It’s for the feeling of accomplishment. Achieving a personal challenge that was previously beyond my comprehension! Doing something that pushes me beyond my comfort zone and tests my inner strength. Deciding to ride in the Triple provides even more motivation to cycle and get in physical shape. My personal competitiveness provides motivation to shave an hour off of our riding time this year! My motivational prize will be…self satisfaction. And no one can give that to me, but me! It’s an inside job.

Right now reflect on any personal or business activity that you choose to engage in. What’s your inner drive? Because motivation is an inside job, only you can motivate you by determining what motivates you. It’s an inside job!

PS. Success! We cut 5 minutes off our time from last year…13 hours 45 minutes. Darn that headwind. What a ride!

The Power in “Moving Beyond"

Moving Beyond. It’s about completing events of the past so that a change you want can occur more smoothly and quickly. There is a simple process to assist you in ‘moving beyond’ where you currently are and toward the change or future you desire (or maybe only dreamed of). We often know that it’s time to make a change, we want to make a change and yet it’s as if we are just ‘waiting’ for it to happen to/for us. Whenever we want something different in our life it is important to have a sense of completion about, or a letting go of, our current situation. We do this by acknowledging the good in it and expressing our gratitude for what we have learned. What’s important is that you feel mentally and emotionally committed to having this change. Sound interesting?

Think of these examples when you want to move beyond by saying good-bye to your:

• Home…when you are ready to sell it and make that move
• Spouse…when you are ready to begin a new life without him/her
• Birthday…when you are entering a new year
• Weight…when you are ready to loose those extra pounds and have a thinner body
• Job…when you are ready for a new, more exciting one

What else…

When you are ready, simply follow these steps. The process is so simple and yet so effective.

1. Write down your answers to the following questions on a piece of paper (or type them). Be honest and sincere with your answers and list as many as you want for each question.

a. What am I thankful for with ______ in my life (i.e. my current home, spouse…)

b. What I am leaving behind (when I no longer have this in my life)

c. What I am taking with me (there are always good aspects to appreciate)

d. What I wish for the ______(i.e. people moving into the house, spouse I am leaving, new year, etc.)
 

2. If you are interested you may want to create a little ceremony for your ‘moving beyond’ preparation. Maybe light a candle, do it at sunset, somewhere that is special to you, with someone that is special to you, etc. Not necessary, but it does make this process more poignant for the change you desire.
 

3. Read your answers out loud to yourself…or better yet read them out loud to another person. This is your declaration of what you want so read them with emotion, impact and feeling.
 

4. For even more impact you may choose to burn the paper that your answers are written upon. Now here’s a statement of finality!

Does this process work? Yep! It’s because you’ve moved beyond the past. And any time you are diligent about letting go of the past you are ready for the present and future. Yet, it’s important to not expect this to work alone. Continue to take whatever other actions are appropriate to create your desired change. Right now is the perfect time to move beyond something that is stopping you. Get back to me with your results. Ready ~ set ~ go!

PS. If you have questions about the process of moving beyond, email me at terri@theinnerprize.com.

Note: This process was created 20 years ago by a dear friend of mine, Lucy Beale. She has been successfully using it with clients in her weight loss/health management business along with a multitude of other applications. If you are interested in being Naturally Healthy & Thin, check out her web site at www.lucybeale.com.

The Power in Power-full

Power. What comes to your mind when you read the word power? It’s a potent word with many interpretations and forms. I think of power as an energy or ability that is within each us. There’s mental power as in the ability to really think. Einstein is a great example, yet we are all mentally powerful when we focus our attention. There’s Emotional power, as in the ability to rally the team or enroll people in a cause. A lot gets done when the emotions are engaged. Spiritual power is represented in our beliefs and faith. And physical power is likened to electricity, the ability to turn on our energy when desired or needed. Our personal power is always available for us to access. We really are power-full individuals.

I had a power-full experience recently when road biking with some friends on the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains. I’m a novice biker having only six rides of experience…the longest being 37 miles and the steepest hill being a 14% grade. It’s not the length of a ride or the fact that I am the slowest that causes concern, it’s the steepness of the road that gets me. To picture a 14% grade imagine the steepest highway incline that you have driven (usually limited to 6% or 7%) and then double it (think 2:00 on the clock!). This particular ride was my second time to face this vertical challenge…the first time I got off my bike and walked the incline part. I knew I had it in me…yet…peddling and barely moving when your feet are clipped into the pedals is a challenge unto itself.

Here’s how I found my personal power.

• I had the vision of the top in sight…yet whenever I looked up that far I felt intimidated…so I kept my eyes focused on the road right in front of me.
• I focused on breathing. Very helpful!
• I added a strong pull-up action to my peddle stroke. Simple, yet incredibly beneficial.
• Then my expert friend said, “lower your heal and you will get even more pulling power.” Great advice.

It really took a combination of powers to make it to the top. This time I was more committed to conquering that hill…I was mentally & physically focused, my ego had me emotionally focused and I had faith in myself that ‘I can handle this’. My commitment kept me going when the going got real tough. I certainly felt expended, and yet full of power upon reaching the top…and reaching 42 mph on the way back down.

Yes, power lives within us! We each have ongoing access to our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical power. Power is an internal force that propels our ability to achieve what’s important to us. Throughout today notice when you too are using your personal power…and see how power-full you feel.

PS. This weekend is a 5-hour, 57 mile, ‘difficult’-level ride. Here’s to a power-full, fun experience!

Back to Basics…with a Twist

Déjà vu! You’ve heard it before, let’s get ‘Back to Basics’. What are those Basics? Streamlining internal operations, tightening the budget and focusing on the essentials, prioritizing customer service! Business goes in cycles and patterns and there are times in those cycles when it’s useful to refocus on our priorities. Yet, how do we keep our teams and ourselves motivated in this challenging part of the cycle? When the challenges continue and results lag, the question is often posed ‘is it a training or a motivation issue?’ Often times people know what to do, they just aren’t doing it.

Barbara, a client of mine, recently embraced the idea that her team knew what to do, they just needed the motivation to do it. They needed ‘Back to Basics…With A Twist’. Their Twist came in the form of acknowledgement. Barbara started acknowledging the small, ordinary activities…the Basics. Every one of her direct reports gets some form of acknowledgement from her personally everyday. What does this acknowledgement look like? She acknowledges someone for getting their report done on time, she thanks another for sending follow-up notes, she thanks them for responding to internet leads, she says thanks for smiling when greeting people, etc. Sure her team members were surprised when she stated taking the time to notice and reinforce the Basics. Yet, they have told her they feel more supported. They are doing the ordinary activities with renewed enthusiasm…and they are developing a more positive ‘can-do’ approach to their jobs. Big results for recognizing the ‘little things’.

When looking at the Basics I always recommend that we remember the people who are doing those Basics. Too often we think that simply making cutbacks, explaining what needs to happen and giving incentives to our customers will bring results. In reality, it’s motivated individuals that achieve results!

So, what’s the Twist in your Back to Basics approach? Maybe it’s something you have learned that can be applied differently. Maybe it’s acknowledgement. Whatever it is, make sure to include a Twist in your Back to Basics!

Mis-Matched Values

Mis-matched values are when you and someone else do not embrace the same beliefs, choices or actions as ‘valuable’. With experience it becomes easier to determine what’s most important to each of us, to know what we like and don’t like and to trust our choices since values evolve over time. It’s often not obvious that our values are mis-matched until we find ourselves in a situation that does not feel right or causes concern.

When our values match those of others it’s easier to connect, less challenging to focus on priorities and outcomes are typically enhanced. When values are mis-matched tension grows, stress mounts and the ability to perform our best is greatly hindered. Consider these three individuals who recently went through impactful change due to mis-matched values. Here are the situations:

• An executive-level client chose to change firms due to a fundamental difference with the way his current employer operated. The company has a bottom-line, problem solving value system that is more task-oriented. He highly values a supportive, people-oriented and nurturing environment.
  
• A freelance partner recently turned down a very lucrative business opportunity. While she was a great fit for the project and would have made considerable money, she didn’t agree with how the client was interacting with her and could see the mis-matched approach to business.
  
• An associate recently decided to separate from his partner based upon mis-matched values that had evolved over time. While their goals were aligned, it was how they approached life and the choices they were each making to achieve those goals that were inconsistent.
  

There’s no right or wrong when it comes to values. Every individual and organization is entitled to operating as they determine appropriate. It’s good to honor others’ values and priorities. Yet, it’s most important to honor yourself and your personal value choices.

We often don’t give much thought to our values and the importance they play in our lives on a daily basis. It can take focused thought and awareness. Have you thought about yours lately? And most importantly, how do your values match with your personal and professional partners? When values are matched you’ll find more personal satisfaction and the ability to make greater contributions. Think values today!

Terri Norvell
the inner prize
A People Development Company

Office: 970-377-2000
Mobile: 970-215-5622

www.theinnerprize.com

The power in your business...starts with the power in your people.